Here's a potrait of her :
Yes. She's beautiful isn't she? Sad to say, this picture is a little too pretty to be her.. but Norlia is old.. So we must spare her feelings and make her picture look nicer than she REALLY does. This is drawn by a group of artists.. Names will not be written for safety reasons..
Norlia is just dumb. She's probably bored, sitting in her nice big, air conditioned office.. Which is why she came up with dumb rules such as :
#1 : My dear girls, you must wear clogs in the toilet. It is SO dirty when you walk into the toilet with your shoes after PE session! All the mud! ahhhh!! so dirty! so, so, so dirty! it dirties the floor!! please, my dear children, please take off your shoes, let the toilet smell of socks in addition to the pee smell and wear the clogs!
This is freaking disgusting because u do NOT know what the person before u did in the toilet. Maybe they dropped their blood soaked pad on it? Maybe their pee accidentally sprayed onto it? Maybe they dropped it into the jamban? Wow. That's so cool! I wanna put my feet into someone else's essence!! It gives me a really wonderful feeling! ... Yuck.
But, thanks to our seniors last year, we got out of this predicament and we thought we can "live happily ever after"..... but then...........
__________________________________________________________________________
#2 : Dear children, you must cut ur fringe to the length above your eyebrows, and for those with short hair, please pin all your flyaway or spiky hair to your head. Oh! I forgot. Those with rihanna haircuts, please cut your hair straight =) Oh yes, yes... Dont worry, I didn't forget about YOU! Girls with layered hair.. please please PLEASE cut your hair again and make it a straight cut! Layers are just so... unTIDY! yeah! that's the word! =) ooh yes, yes... I saved the best for last! Although I wear a short tudung myself, but i FORBID any students to follow my example! You must all wear long long long long tudungs that must go over your bra strap at the back and cover your boob shape in the front! As for me, I can wear tudungs that expose my neck, but I can do whatever I want because I'm the Queen of this school!! MUAhahahahhahahaah!!!!!
HAH! yeah, right! We did observe the way she pinned her tudung on the day of inspection. She wore an extra long tudung and pinned it to her clothes so as "to cover herself". That is so amazingly sweet of her! Awwwwww... I love her! Not.
__________________________________________________________________________
#3 : Please duduk bersimpul in assembly. Sitting cross-legged is SO not feminine...
Aww.. I'm sorry I dissapointed you by sitting cross-legged! But I've been doing so for what? umm...12 years? It's hard to change a habit you know~ Especially for someone as "unfeminine" as me! Oh, wow. Thanks mother. I just noticed how unfeminine it is to sit cross-legged! I mean, really!! I do!! Look, when we sit cross-legged, our thighs are open, and when we duduk bersimpul, our legs are put together! Ohhhhh MOTHER! That's SO considerate of you! After all, looking feminine in an all girls school is so important for the school image, is it not? Nevermind that we are having leg cramps sitting that way on the floor while all the teachers are sitting on proper chairs! Looking feminine and proper is the way to go!! Thank you, good Mother!
__________________________________________________________________________
#4: Oh, dears? Please bring a notebook when you attend the weekly assembly.. I like imagining that all of you will copy down everything that I say and hug the notebook filled with my speeches to sleep everynight. It makes me feel so.. HAPPY!
Okay, Mother. We will. Not.
__________________________________________________________________________
#5 : When greeting a teacher, please do not call her "Teacher" of "Cikgu" please call them by their title and name! That's the PROPER way! After all, I want all my dear children in school to remember all the teachers' names whether they teach your classes or not.. That's how you express your love to teachers! By knowing their names and respecting them!
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Yes, sure, Puan Norlia. I shall address all the teachers by greeting them "Cik blabla" and "Puan blabla" just because I love them. I pwomishh you wokay~ mwarrkss! I love you, teacher! oops.. I mean.. I love you, Puan Norlia! =)
__________________________________________________________________________
#6 : Oh, and my dear children? I hope you understand that I am very bored in my nice big office.. All alone.. So I like to rearrange time tables, just for fun! I just hope you dont mind it too much! After all, if you think of it on the bright side, this will prepare you for work in the future when you have different shifts!
Okay, teacher. We won't mind. After all, this IS good for our future... We can't say 'no' to you, can we now, good Mother?
_________________________________________________________________________
#7 : Oh, I'm sorry my little 5 Intan loves.. Although I allowed your seniors last year to do games, manicure and body art to raise funds last year, I cant possibly let YOU do it, too!
But teacher.. We already bought the nailpolish and pens for it because we got the green light from dear Puan Asmah!
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.. but I think you should have come to me, not Puan Asmah. I'm afraid you'll just have to cover your cost by selling food.. =)
Oh.. Mother! What about games? We're doing this game where you use chopsticks to pick out marbles from the..
WHAT? Games?! No, no, no, my dear! Games are very noisy! Although I allow the prefects to have a haunted house where students will surely scream, but I can't allow you to have the game where students use chopsticks to pick out marbles from a basin of water! It's too NOISY!!
(After sending in a few angelic faced girls for a grovelling session with Norlia)
Okay girls, I shall allow you to do manicure and hand art, alright? Make sure your hand art doesn't exceed the wrist, ok? *blows a kiss*
__________________________________________________________________________
#8 : Oh, darlings~ I have this really amazing idea! I was surfing the internet justnow when I was bored in my office and I found out that class streaming is actually a thingamajig! I searched for it's definition and I really LOVED it! I shall apply it to our Form 5 science students at once! I'm so excited that I feel high! It feels as if I ate 5 doses of Ice! This is mind-bloggling! This shall not wait till next year! This is just too.. too.. what's that word? um.. too... too NICE! yeah! that's the word!! This is too NICE to wait!! Oh ,did I forget to mention? During one of those lonely office times, I was thinking of Geylang, so I decided to rename my 3 science classes from Intan(Diamond), Berliand(Diamond), and Zamrud(Emerald) to Terbilang, Gemilang and Cemerlang! Isn't this WONDERFUL?! I thought of these 3 rhyming names all by myself! You oughta be proud of me!! Oh, I know that the classes are all at different chapters in their 10 subjects, but I'm sure you can speed things up, no? I want all of you teachers to stay back after school hours to teach the students, even if only one student attends the extra class, I want you to TEACH! This shows commitment! Oh, what? Oh! no, no, no, no, no!! I'm not giving you extra pay! no! No over time pay! This is your responsibility! And since I'm the Queen of Convent Kajang, you must obey me! MUAhahahahahahahahaah!!!!
__________________________________________________________________________
That's just part of Her Royal Dumbness, Norlia.
__________________________________________________________________________
I'll write about her bullshittiness again another time. But I really gotta go now. Bye! -Kim-
_______________________________________________________________
No comments:
Post a Comment